Will run for syrup

I have a coworker whose running accomplishments and race-day logistics are definitely worthy of a quick mention. I was reminded of this today because the coworker in question just told me about the marathon he ran yesterday, and, as is typical for him, he posted an enviable, sub-elite time under chaotic and amusing conditions.

My coworker is tall, lanky, and most definitely a natural runner. I am short, not lanky, and try very hard when running. I first realized that he and I ran in different universes one evening in the Park last summer. On this particular run, I was out for a five mile fartlek, and I happened to be in the quick portion of my run (my fartleks alternate one minute of hard running with two minutes of easy running) when I saw him running towards me. When we reached one another, he promptly switched directions and began running alongside me, asking me all sorts of questions like where I was running and for how long. I realized then that he had been tricked into thinking my average pace was a lot faster than it really was, and that he would be sorely disappointed when the 60 seconds were up and I brought it down to a (much) lower gear. Through short breaths, I said, "I…can't…run…this…fast…for…very…long... I...just...need...to...fart--" and with that, he turned around, waved goodbye, and continued on his way! The next day at work, when I bumped into him in at the coffee machine, he told me, somewhat incredulously, that he was just out for eighteen miles (at 7:30 pm on a Wednesday night!) and that, when he got home, he ate a whole third of a watermelon!! A whole third of a watermelon?? Really? Yes, there's a reason that he's lanky.

A couple of months later, while he was away in Boston on a work-related trip, another one of my colleagues, who was also on the same trip, sent me the following email:

We ended up talking about how he went running yesterday morning before the storm came into town. I asked him where he went, and he said that he took the T to Wonderland and then ran along the beach out there. I told him that that sounded very nice, and he said yes, it was. Especially because, he added, as he was running he noticed a small 5k race about to start and decided to join in. Which he did, and which he then won. The prize was a giant bottle of maple syrup, which he said he then had to run with all the way back to the hotel. [It was a seven mile run back to the hotel.]

Today, he approached me at work to ask about my upcoming race. He then casually mentioned that he just ran a marathon yesterday. It was the Long Island marathon, and he was very disappointed in his time. Not wanting to pry, I asked if the weather was poor or if he was not sufficiently trained, and he then revealed the following: While the weather was drizzly but okay, he found it most difficult that the course was run along the desolate Parkway, and runners were spaced about 400 m apart. He was anticipating Power Gel stations at miles 8 and 18, but there were none, and so he spent most of the intervening miles asking the odd person he came across on the Parkway, "Do you have a gel?" At mile 23, where there actually were Power Gels on offer, he ate three of them (gross). At the finish, there was no shelter and it was, by this time, pouring rain. He had no friends or family to greet him, so he had to get on his bike to cycle three miles to the train station. And his time? A disappointing 2:57. (Never mind that he's pacing a friend at another marathon in three weeks' time for a 3 hour finish. But as he said, this should be "no problem.") Well, at least he didn't have to carry back any maple syrup this time.