Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Much to remember

Back in early January, when I wrote a group-wide email message to my colleagues announcing Ryder’s birth, one of my coworkers responded with a line that has stuck with me and that I remember almost every day: You will find that, once you have kids, time passes much more quickly.

During those early weeks of sleepless nights and pure exhaustion, time couldn’t pass quickly enough, and I wanted to roll my eyes at every well-meaning stranger who would tell me to “enjoy it because they grow up so fast.” Truth be told, Ryder really could have skipped those first 10-12 weeks altogether and I don’t think I would have minded much. But now that he’s a bit older and becoming exponentially more fun on an almost daily basis, I am starting to notice that time does indeed seem to be passing much too quickly. Over the last week, this realization was compounded by several anniversaries of various events in my life and those of whom I love most:

* Sixty-some-odd years ago this past week, my mother came into the world. Although Zdenek likes to tell me that I am the world’s greatest mom, I know that that title rightfully belongs to the extraordinary woman who raised me, and I miss her immensely across the miles.

* Thirty years ago this past week, Zdenek’s mother and father defected from their home in then-communist Czechoslovakia. It goes without saying that that bold move altered the course of history (or at least my own and that of Ryder, who would otherwise still be dark matter floating in the universe).

* Eight years ago this past week, Zdenek and I were introduced by a mutual friend at a bar on Toronto's Queen Street. Believe me when I say that I went home that night thinking that he might be “the one.”

* One year ago this past week, Zdenek and I flew to Canada to visit both of our parents and announce that there would soon be a new member in our family.

* Also one year ago this past week, I was still enjoying long bike rides and 10+ mile runs in Central Park on a weekly basis. (This past weekend, with Zdenek’s parents in town, I actually managed to cycle on both Saturday and Sunday -- the first time I’ve been on my little red Giant since March!) I remember racing around the Park feeling fantastic and finding it difficult to believe that there was actually another little person inside of me. Who would have thought that it would be easier to run 10 miles with him in than out?

Sometimes my friends without children ask whether I miss my “old life” or whether I think about having more kids. Of course I’d be a liar if I didn’t admit that it would be nice to stay up until midnight knowing that I could sleep in until 10 am if I so desired, that I’d love to be able to leave the house after 7 pm to enjoy a stroll with Zdenek on a beautiful summer evening, or that I don’t stare wistfully at my bike and wonder when I’ll ever have the opportunity to go for a three hour ride again.

But I have to remember how quickly time has already passed, and that it certainly is not slowing down. It won’t be too much longer before I’ll look back and reminisce about the summer of 2011, when Ryder was just a little package of delicious baby and Zdenek and I were able to take him for stroller rides in Central Park and push him on the swings at Riverside Park. The next time I’m at mile 25 in a marathon and wondering, once again, what possessed me to subject myself to that kind of torture, I’m sure I’ll wish that time would pass more quickly. For now, I’ll try to remember to savor every moment.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

New obsessions

We’re now a few days into July, which marks the beginning of both summer and le Tour. Alas, my days of being able to stay up until late, intensely focused on that day’s Stage, are behind me: while I’ve always been a pretty early-to-bed kind of girl, my attention span these days is markedly shorter than it ever was. It seems that if I am not actually doing something with Ryder (i.e. holding, hugging, kissing, changing, feeding, cleaning, etc.), then I am always thinking about him or how to care for him. After a few minutes of cycling action on tv (and yes, we’re in high def this year), I find myself inexplicably drawn to the plethora of baby-related books and manuals on my coffee table. Recently we started Ryder on solids (avocados, bananas, oatmeal, and watermelon are all huge hits so far -- clearly he’s my boy!), and so while I’ve just finished learning everything I need to know about baby sleep patterns and developmental milestones, I’m suddenly having to learn all about making and freezing homemade baby food and just how much iron my little guy actually needs in a day.

Ryder clearly rules our roost. I’m sure (or at least I hope!) that it’s a first-time parent thing, but too often I catch Zdenek and me having a conversation at the dinner table that might go something like this:

Parent 1: Do you think his second nap was long enough today?
Parent 2: Maybe, but then he also had that short catnap in the morning, don’t forget.
Parent 1: Right. Maybe we shouldn’t have taken him out in the stroller at
that time...
Parent 2: Perhaps. But how many hours of sleep did he get
yesterday?
Parent 1: Let me check the log.


And so on.



In fact, this past weekend, I managed to detach for a minute and listen to Zdenek and me, and it was obvious that we are both (a) obsessed, and (b) completely boring.

It’s therefore nice to know that we have at least a few other things in our lives that are completely unrelated to Ryder. For one, I’m still running 4-6 times each week (Ryder could be related to this if he so desired, but he’s made his dislike for the running stroller pretty apparent), and though the miles are short, they are always sweet. Zdenek has recently been getting back into the habit of crawling out of bed at 5:30 am to take his bike for a spin in Central Park; I’m happy he’s doing this, because running is a bit tough for him in the sticky summertime. And when we were watching le Tour a couple of nights ago, we did manage to have a conversation that had nothing at all to do with Ryder -- namely, we discussed whether Garmin-Cervelo had anyone worthy in the GC and debated whether Team Radioshack is full of dopers (I say “yes”). (Let’s forget, for the moment, that Ryder is actually named after a member of Team Garmin…)

I’m really, really looking forward to the day that Ryder is a bit older and he can run and cycle with us. To be sure, there are many times that I want to stop time altogether and savor every morsel of his adorable six-month self, and when it makes me want to cry to think how quickly he’s already growing up. But once he’s able to share the fun of running and cycling with us, maybe Zdenek and I will be able to spend a little less time talking about Ryder and more time engaged with him in the activities we love.



There will come a day when the only Ryder-related log will be the one tracking his daily miles. I’m sure of it.